


I Mean To Tell You What I Do For A Living

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, It's like a one shot per chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:59:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since you can't seem to accept that I'm just a businessman, and as I've been continually pressed on the subject, I have decided to share with you just what kind of job I hold.</p>
<p>((One shots featuring Crowley and some of the various deals that he has made through the years.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Mean To Tell You What I Do For A Living

JUST OUTSIDE ALEXANDRIA, MN.

The time is 9:54 PM, the date October 12th, 2008. My name is Crowley, and I make deals in exchange for human souls.

This particular deal isn't anything special, as human deals rarely are. Money, fame, fortune. It was sad to say they weren't the most creative bunch. Demons were much more entertaining, though without these incompetent human wishes, demons would cease to be made. That's the main reason it was my job to collect. Another was that it was, admittedly, rather fun.

So I stood outside in the freezing wind, black coat whipping around me, waiting for miss Margaret White to turn around. When she did, it was with a high pitched "yelp." More often than not, people didn't expect anyone to actually show up.

"Name's Crowley. What can I get for you, Margie?"

Still taken aback, it took her another moment to compose herself enough to speak. Either the wind was too cruel for her, or she was scared out of her wits. I preferred to think the latter.

"I want... My grandson has cancer. Can you cure it?"

Oh, a classic request. The miracle of a tumour completely disappearing. They were some of the easiest deals to close, these family members were so desperate.

"For a price, you know."

Margaret nodded a tiny nod, but it was enough.

"Ten years, then I collect. Ready to seal the deal, love?"

She pulled a pen out of her coat pocket, and I rolled my eyes. Beyond the taking of the soul, humans were so clueless as to what this entailed. A patient man I was not.

"Ah," I said, holding up a finger. "We do it with a kiss these days."

The woman practically flung herself onto me, and though I accepted the kiss, my thoughts were on hoping my coat didn't wrinkle and... Dentures. Lovely.

When I broke it off, she stood there a moment longer before asking, "that's it?"

"That's it." I confirmed. I didn't think to lollygag. I made my exit without her notice. She could only be standing at that crossroads, confused as all hell. It wouldn't be until she returned home that her daughter would call her with the good news.

I shrugged my coat off when I arrived back at my home. Someone would have to have it dry cleaned. Hopefully before the next call arrived. It was chilly out. I didn't give another thought to Margaret. I wouldn't have to for another ten years.

**Author's Note:**

> This is as much a joke as it is a character study, with varying degrees of ridiculousness in the wishes granted, deals made. Take it with a grain of salt (or an entire circle of it, perhaps).


End file.
